I Want To Meet A Woman With Three Boobs

Three Boobs Are Better Than Two Aren't They?

(The three boobed woman from Total Recall may have spoiled us for all women.)

Ever since the release of the movie Total Recall in 1990, I have fantasized about women with three breasts.

You see, in this off-world Arnold Schwarzenegger action movie, there was this beautiful Martian mutant (I forget her name) who worked as a topless waitress or hooker in a contaminated Martian colony pub. And the great thing about this revamped vamp, was that she had three beautiful bosoms.

Yes, I realize that this thrice-blessed babe was only make-believe and her boobies were made out of latex or paper machier or whatever, but from the first time I saw that delicious deviant, I knew that I wanted to meet a triple-titted girl.

Now I'm not talking about females with "superfluous nipples"--that's just not the same. And I'm not referring to the "two in the front, one in the back" idea. As much fun as it would be when you're slow dancing, it doesn't fit in with any of my flesh-filled fantasies.

No, I'm looking for the triple rack. Three across the bow. Trip nips. I want them lined up like soft squishy soldiers, ready for some bouncy action. I want the chance to fondle a boob in my left hand, another in my right hand, and still have a boob left over for suckling. Imagine the faceful of fun you can have with that extra knocker.

"Because only a woman with three boobs is worth more than a brewsky." - Bacardi

(Good things can come in threes...like boobs.)

So why aren't there any babes out there with an extra fun cushion? Why aren't horny scientists developing new forms of advanced breast technologies?

The last time I checked, thousands of women were getting breast implants every day. So why can't some of those women opt for a third hooter? If you're going to pay for the enhancements, why not go all the way and select the multiple mammary option? I bet somewhere, a plastic surgeon must have have a "buy two get one free" special. It doesn't matter if they're fake, that's not the point. It's the fact that you have a spare grapefruit to grope, a bonus blouse bunny to brush, an extra ta-ta to tweak.

I don't need excuses like the unavailability of three-cupped bras or double-cleavaged low-cut tops. The garment industry can always catch up.

All I want is a woman with three-of-a-kind so that I can satisfy a perfectly reasonable wet dream. It's just one extra dumpling. Two on base and one at the plate.

I think that Total Recall created a woman that even a top porn star would find it hard to compete against. Did this movie spoil us for all women, or did director Paul Verhoeven have a true vision of mutated women in the future? Will we never again be satisfied with mere two-breasted women?

Now I might just be a boob for saying this, but my logic will always be that if two are good, then three must be better! Just ask any man...who likes boobs...in threes.